1. Turkey!
My favorite meat is turkey. It's delicious, lean, nutritious, and just amazing. However, Turkey doesn't exist in Korea in real form.
Why do I say "real form?"
There's this fake-strange-turkeyesque-but-TOTALLY-not-really-turkey-stick-thingy that they sell at 7-Eleven, but
1) it's not turkey,
2) I don't eat things if I don't know what they're made from because they will invariably be squid/shrimp/some kind of foolishness to which I'm allergic, and I don't have time for that.
3) Michael Pollan's Food Rule #1 is "Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food." I'm 99.9% certain that neither of my beloved great grandmothers would label the thing below as food.
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| To be fair, this is actually a "cheese stick." But I'll bet you couldn't tell that, either! #stillnotfood |
2. Sweet food
Warning! I'm about to make one of those broad, blanket statements about Korea that you're not really supposed to make--however, I dare you to find 10 foreigners here who disagree: Korea has an astonishing lack of sweet food and desserts.
I was attending a meeting at another school the other day with a few other teachers. My department head, as per Korean custom, stopped by Paris Baguette to pick up a small gift for the presenter. She bought a big variety pack of cookies. When we took off the top, we thought, "Ooh look, there are 16 different types of cookies! YESSS!!" We proceeded to try one...and another...and eventually had tried all 16 varieties. By about cookie number 4, I come to the startling realization that...
All these things taste exactly the same! The only thing that differentiates them is food coloring!What's funny is that Korean people are completely aware of this. My boss said, "Even though the cookies are all different colors and shapes, they all taste the same. Hmm..."
Being from the South, I like sweet things. Cake, cookies, lemonade that contains more sugar than water, allathatgoodstuff.
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| What I wouldn't give for one of my grandma's 7-Up cakes. If you don't know what a 7-Up cake is, go to a bakery anywhere between Oklahoma and Georgia. |
3. Personal space
I grew up in Oklahoma, the land where everyone has a big backyard and your next door neighbor has horses roaming around. (Just me? OK.) I became accustomed to a little less space when I moved to Atlanta, and even less during my time in Argentina. But uhh...
4. Non-glutinous rice
Nearly all rice that one can purchase in Korea is highly glutinous (read: extra sticky rice), which can be fine for a while, but I loved being able to have jasmine, basmati, long grain, short grain...all types of rice, from the farmer's market. Add to that the fact that rice is strangely expensive in Korea, despite the fact that it's such an important part of the Korean diet that the word for rice (밥) also means "meal," and it leaves you wondering.
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| You go to the store and see about 17 different brands of the same type of rice. Glutinous! |
5. Central heat & air
You don't need a picture for this one. I think Korea's system of A/C and fans in the summer, and ondol in the winter works fairly well, but it can be pretty darned insufficient at times. For instance, when you're in your office and it's the warmest part of the day and you can still see your breath inside the room. The Daegu heat in the summer is only a problem for foreigners, as Korean people seem to have literally developed a gene that keeps them from sweating (an example of how 5,000 years of relative homogeneity can serve a population well).
6. Predictable food items
If I were to go to a restaurant in the U.S. and order a fruit salad, I would automatically believe that it would contain--oh, you know, FRUIT. Several months ago, I went to a birthday gathering in Daegu at a restaurant where literally the only item on the 7-page menu that didn't blatantly contain seafood was the fruit salad. So that's what I ordered.
It arrives and looks more or less like this, except that it had 5 slices of pineapple and lots of crab sticks.
7. Clothes that fit
When I first decided to move to Korea, I thought, "This'll be great! Korean people are pretty thin, so I can get lots of great clothes at a good price."
If you're anticipating going on shopping sprees of cheap clothes because you've heard stories from people who used to be in the military or were here for some sort of foreign tour back in the 90s, don't listen to them! Their experiences were reality 20 years ago, but the vast majority of what they say will be completely wrong now. I'll probably post about that later! You cannot get a tailored suit made for $50, or buy handmade shoes for $10, or go have a five-course dinner for $3.
Basically, the one time I found a pair of Korean jeans that sort of, kind of fit me, even though they're uncomfortably tight such that I can't fit my phone in the pocket, I was like...
That said, Itaewon in Seoul reputedly has foreigner-sized clothes. But riding the train for 4 hours each way to go buy just one or two things seems counterproductive to me.
8. Clothes that are reasonably priced
I openly admit that I like clothes. Nice clothes. When I lived in the States, I frequented Nordstrom and knew when their sales were before they even knew when their sales were. I have a talent for getting awesome things at a ridiculously low price, but that talent came to Korea and died in a hole.
I made the mistake of buying a North Face (read: a North Fake, but a fake so good it even fooled me) backpack while I was in the Philippines. Within 48 hours, one strap had broken, only for the other strap to break the following week. So I went looking for a new travel backpack, and found that the ones (that don't even pretend to be authentic and will likely break in a similar time frame) to be about $180. This is at the market (basically a flea market), so clearly there's no return policy.
In short, I ordered a legitimate one from REI online, and if anything happens to it, I can exchange it! (REI is like Nordstrom...awesome customer service and insanely good return/happiness policy.)
All of the above are things that you learn to deal with if you are an expat. I'm sure a Korean person who moved to the U.S. would the lack of find motion-sensor escalators and the fact that waiters come to your table without asking to be similarly annoying.
Clearly, I'm spending too much time making memes, so back to lesson planning for next semester!
If I were to go to a restaurant in the U.S. and order a fruit salad, I would automatically believe that it would contain--oh, you know, FRUIT. Several months ago, I went to a birthday gathering in Daegu at a restaurant where literally the only item on the 7-page menu that didn't blatantly contain seafood was the fruit salad. So that's what I ordered.
It arrives and looks more or less like this, except that it had 5 slices of pineapple and lots of crab sticks.
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| The fruit salad. And that's not fine. |
The same thing happened once when I ordered "chicken and rice." I always read the Korean menu and it's still deceptive!
7. Clothes that fit
When I first decided to move to Korea, I thought, "This'll be great! Korean people are pretty thin, so I can get lots of great clothes at a good price."
Triple shot of WOMP! Wrong!I was wrong on both counts. I'm quite thin by U.S. standards, as people used to point out all too often. But here, I have very long arms & legs and a short torso, in addition to massive trunk legs. This is because the vast majority of Korean people -- meaning everyone but about 15-20% of the youngest generation -- has a very similar body time. **Disclaimer: Please don't read this as a stereotype of Korean people. There are well-documented historical and economic reasons that explain the size difference between previous generations of Korean people and the young people who are coming of age now.**
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| The WTRJ U.S.-Korea Size Conversion Chart |
Basically, the one time I found a pair of Korean jeans that sort of, kind of fit me, even though they're uncomfortably tight such that I can't fit my phone in the pocket, I was like...
That said, Itaewon in Seoul reputedly has foreigner-sized clothes. But riding the train for 4 hours each way to go buy just one or two things seems counterproductive to me.
8. Clothes that are reasonably priced
I openly admit that I like clothes. Nice clothes. When I lived in the States, I frequented Nordstrom and knew when their sales were before they even knew when their sales were. I have a talent for getting awesome things at a ridiculously low price, but that talent came to Korea and died in a hole.
I made the mistake of buying a North Face (read: a North Fake, but a fake so good it even fooled me) backpack while I was in the Philippines. Within 48 hours, one strap had broken, only for the other strap to break the following week. So I went looking for a new travel backpack, and found that the ones (that don't even pretend to be authentic and will likely break in a similar time frame) to be about $180. This is at the market (basically a flea market), so clearly there's no return policy.
In short, I ordered a legitimate one from REI online, and if anything happens to it, I can exchange it! (REI is like Nordstrom...awesome customer service and insanely good return/happiness policy.)
All of the above are things that you learn to deal with if you are an expat. I'm sure a Korean person who moved to the U.S. would the lack of find motion-sensor escalators and the fact that waiters come to your table without asking to be similarly annoying.
Clearly, I'm spending too much time making memes, so back to lesson planning for next semester!
